BabyFace Thought Me How To Love
Is he a gentleman or an asshole? Will I wake up in the morning to a black eye & bruises? How will I know?
Fathers & Daughters
In a world perfect world, young women are taught by their fathers or father figures how to be treated in a relationship. They learn the difference between an asshole and a true gentleman. So, what about the young women who grew up in a single parent home without a father present and without a real-life example of what a committed relationship should be?
My father had multiple relationships with multiple women, including my mother. He was living a double life for 16 years and he never owned up to any of his responsibilities. I grew up in an unstable home. My mother was strung out on drugs. My father was nowhere to be found after his wife confronted my mother about the 16-year-old affair that took place between her and my father.
All of my childhood friends would brag about their dreams of becoming a wife & mother someday. My dreams were always about flying away with wings and saving myself from property and abuse. The only man I looked up to was my Grandfather. He would stop by every Sunday evening with a gallon of ice cream & some cookies. He was the only man that acted as a father figure in my life.
Don't Stand So Close To Me
At the age of 28, I started to realize that not everyone had my best interest at heart. Unfortunately, it was always a man who made me second guess myself and made me believe that I had to keep my guard up. Trusting someone can be very difficult after becoming a victim of rape. Sometimes it's even more difficult to trust yourself. So, you pull yourself away from the social scenes to avoid the possibility of meeting someone.
Not only did I have issues with trusting a stranger, I had issues with trusting my own family. I was traumatized. I couldn't be held, touched, or smelt without having a paranoid reaction. I wanted to jump out my skin every time a man touched my shoulder or shook my hand.
The Song That Changed The Way I Thought About Men
In the summer of 2006, I heard Babyface’s song Soon As I Get Home for the first time on the radio. As I sat there and listened to the lyrics, I thought, “this man is crazy”! It was the first time I heard a man singing about taking care of a woman and treating her right. I was like, is this for real! I had never seen a man supporting women. So, this wasn't normal to me.
We Found Love In A Hopeless Place
There's no such as a perfect man or a perfect woman. You have to decide what you're willing to tolerate. Find a way to heal from your past before you step into another relationship. Don't drag another person into your mess. Dragging another person into your negative space will only create guilt & more problems. No one deserves to live in fear sleeping next to their spouse.
Every time I reminisce about how I fell in love with my husband, I start thinking about the song "Soon As I get Home" because he gives me good love….
The Lyrics to Soon As I Get Home…
I give good love. I’ll buy your clothes. I’ll cook your dinner too. Soon as I get home from work. I’ll pay your rent. Your faithful lover. Soon as I get home, soon as I get home, from work. Girl, I’ll treat you right and I’ll never lie. For all that it’s worth. I give good love Written by Babyface (1989).